Hot Pork Lunch: A Potted History Of
PIG
PIG
were formed in the hotbed of boredom that was Limavady in 1984 by myself
- Greg Moffitt - on guitar, Keith Sharp on bass, allegedly, and the
blonde bombshell himself, David Larmour Jr. on vocals, screams and looking-good-so-we-didn't-have-to.
We lacked a drummer for quite a while, a situation which quickly became
a recurring problem and was never really solved.
I'd
be the first to admit that we weren't technical players. I use the word
'technical' as opposed to 'great' or something similar, as we had no
aspirations to be a particularly proficient band. For my part, I simply
could not care less about how many notes a guy could cram into a couple
of bars of music, nor how precise he was. Much more important were attitude,
feel and the overall impact of the band. We wanted to bludgeon people's
senses, not impress them with our musical intelligence. Not that there
was ever any danger of that. My idol at the time was Jeff 'Mantas' from
Venom, an axeman not known for his subtlety or restraint.
Although
we performed at least one cover version at every gig we played, from
the outset I thought it essential that we do original material. We were
sick to death of hearing bands regurgitating the same tired, listless
renditions of Teenage Kicks, Paranoid and Smoke On The fucking Water
time and time again, with an arrogance and sense of entitlement that'd
make you think they'd written the sodding things. They weren't big,
they weren't clever, but at least we created something new with the
twenty or so originals that we penned. And it was a hell of a lot more
fun than learning Out In The Fields.
For
our first gig at Limavady Grammar School in April '86, we recruited
a classmate and wannabe drummer Mark 'Bunter' McLaughlin to deputise
behind the kit. If the experience taught us anything, it's that wanting
to be drummer doesn't make you one. I still have the evidence on a cassette
(younger readers may wish to ask their parents about 'cassettes') and
an extremely grainy video. Keith didn't make it as far as gig number
two, falling prey to that most dreaded bassist's ailment 'small hands'.
His replacement was the reprobate Chris Mullan, a dysfunctional delight
who added some much needed mental instability to the line-up.
Limavady being what it was, and none of us being old enough
to drive, getting gigs was also an issue. PIG played regularly, but
not often. Other
notable
shows - which were recorded and/or filmed - included Jensen's niteclub
at the Gorteen Hotel in late 1986, The Shenandoah bar - also '86 - an
all-dayer at Limavady Technical College and a notorious display at the
Youth Club at Limavady Grammar where urination in dustbins - not by
any of us I hasten to add - got us barred in perpetuity. Until we changed
the name of the band of course
At both the Jensen's and Shenandoah
gigs, we were graced by the presence of Paul 'Teece' Thompson on drums,
the only proper sticksman we ever had. Our brand of full-on metal wasn't
really his bag, but he seemed to enjoy the challenge of doing something
different outside his comfort zone and it afforded him the room to create
his own drum parts, something he was obviously unable to do while trawling
through Whiskey In The Jar or whatever for the
umpteenth
time. Also worth mentioning is the fact that the 'Doah gig was in support
of well-known Derry rockers Falon. We were deeply impressed with their
hair I seem to remember. And their trousers. The stupidest gig by far
would have to be the one we played in the back bar of Limavady's Roebuck
Inn - while it was still being built - on a Saturday afternoon. Some
local drunk - now deceased apparently - vainly tried to introduce us
while I rudely drowned him out with distortion. You've got to laugh
though, haven't you?
In '88, with metal continuing to evolve at an exponential
rate, PIG changed its name to DNF, shuffled a few members around (Chris
Mullan defected to drums, Neil 'Nel' Scott (last seen lurking around
Triggerman) was drafted in on bass and - bizarrely - Keith Sharp returned
to occupy the vocal slot (don't ask). PIG never made any studio recordings,
but we did copy and distribute several live tapes, a couple of which
received favourable notices in Kerrang. I think. Anyway, if you have
no goals, you never achieve anything, but whatever we did or didn't
do for the local metal scene, PIG was way more fun than it deserved
to be and that, by god, was enough.
The 'Where Are They Now?' File:
Greg
www.myspace.com/greg_from_ireland
Chris
www.myspace.com/sk8mutie
Dave
www.wooler-evangelical.org.uk